This book is not at all what I expected. I wanted a lighter read but nothing cozy or frivolous. The labels for chicklit and romance were neatly balanced by literary fiction and humor. Couldn't put this one down.
Without spoilers - this is a story about Phoebe, a serious intelligent woman, a professor of English literature, arriving at a posh hotel with the intention of taking her life. She arrives when, unbeknownst to her, an enormous group of people swarm in for a million dollar wedding. Lila is the bride-to-be and streams into the lobby with hoots and hugs, passing out gift bags to all. She sees Phoebe, hugs her and tells her she is SO happy she could attend, gives her a gift bag and makes her rounds. Lila and Phoebe had never met until that moment.
Later they meet in the elevator:
"But you have to be in one of our families," Lila tells her.
"No," Phoebe says "I’m not in any family."
What has she got to lose now by telling the truth to this stranger and so she does. Informs Lila she is there to kill herself. Lila informs her she just can't as this is a week long celebration culminating in her dream wedding.
Believe it or not but this is the beginning of the strangest friendship and honest conversations ever. There were so many pages I bookmarked; here are some:
It’s been a crushing realization, one that started slowly after the divorce, and got stronger with each passing holiday, until she woke up this morning to a quiet house. She finally understood what it meant to have no family. She understood it would always be like this, just her, in bed alone. Not even the sound of her cat, Harry, meowing at the door.
This is the gift random strangers can give you, Phoebe is realizing – the freedom to say or be anything around them. Because who cares? He doesn’t know her, and he’ll never know her. He will list all kinds of reasons why she shouldn’t die and she’ll tell him she’s not planning to die anymore then they’ll get out out of the hot tub and she'll carry on with her life.
What a waste of money. A huge waste of money. “Every wedding even a successful wedding, is a waste Phoebe says. Every wedding is an egregious amount of money that could have been spent on much more practical things, like say a house, a down payment, on a school in a small dying Midtown. A wedding is a fleeting spectacle that is 100% going to become packed down into teeny tiny garbage squares that end up in your landfill one day.
There are so many heartfelt conversations between the two women, revelations which helped them both. Character growth and an ending I just loved. Both women were suffering with different issues and each sought to handle their problems in very different ways.
Themes of friendship, infidelity, infertility and hope are strewn throughout. Would I read more by Alison Espach? Absolutely. 4.5 stars
